My Rating: 4 Stars


TITLE: F*ck Love

AUTHOR: Tarryn Fisher

GENRE: New Adult, Contemporary, Romance

FORMAT: Kindle Edition

DATE READ: January 10, 2016


Helena Conway has fallen in love.
Unwillingly. Unwittingly.
But not unprovoked.
Kit Isley is everything she’s not—unstructured, untethered,
and not even a little bit careful.
It could all be so beautiful … if he wasn’t dating her best friend.
Helena must defy her heart, do the right thing, and think of others.
Until she doesn’t.


“Let people feel the weight of who you really are, and let them fucking deal with it.”


Hands down to this book because it’s such an honest book with authentic characters. Tarryn Fisher doesn’t expect us to like the main character because even I myself have a hard time liking the fact that Helena suddenly fell in love with her best friend’s man because of a dream! But even so, Tarryn crafted Helena into a surprisingly unpredictable character that I have grown to appreciate and root for as the book goes on.

I like how this book doesn’t try to give us perfect characters with perfectly good personalities. They all have flaws, drawbacks and weaknesses about themselves that they struggle to vanquish. Some of their decisions were annoying but I was okay with it. Though I am not fan of the romance between Kit and Helena, I enjoyed how the love they have and the situation they are in made them better people.

The story line as a whole was enticing and Helena was such a relatable character. Sometimes it’s best to live your way without ever thinking what others would say about you. It’s best not to lose yourself in the battle of finding who you are and saving yourself from losing who you are and becoming whom you’re not because of the people around us.

Tarryn Fisher did an amazing job in bringing us out a realistic NA contemporary romance with the vibe of rooting for the main character’s happily ever after even you are on a binge cringe because of the complicated situation they’re in.


“I ignited something in your heart, and then left you to burn on your own. Forgive me, Helena. I wanted to protect you from the world’s cruelty, not become it.”

The plot revolves around the sometimes unavoidable scenario of what if you fall in love with your best friend’s boyfriend and found out that he likes you back. And that emotion was triggered by an unexpected dream you had last night about having a future life with him as husband and wife. But like every dream, you have to wake up and face the ugly reality which is the entire opposite of your dream.

Falling in love with your best friend’s boyfriend? Because of a dream? I was like…



“I moved to Port Townsend because I fell in love with my best friend’s boyfriend. I wanted to get as far away from the both of you as I could, while also being as close to you as I could. Does that make sense, or does it sound too crazy?”

The plot looks like a simple and common one in the NA romance fiction but it does offer us something more as we go on. It taught us some valuable lesson about love, ourselves and finding where we really stand in this life that we can all relate to. It is an easy-light read with unexpected deep characters. I love how it gave us a vivid image of Helena’s life even after she moved to Washington and how time heals her and the love she has known and couldn’t have, made her a better person.

Tarryn has dealt with the story in a defiant yet utterly beautiful way that kept us readers on the verge on wanting to close the book but at the same time not doing it because we wanted to know how this would end. It’s like I want Helena and Kit to be together but at the same time I don’t. But I do! But I don’t too. What?



The characters are the ones that made this story very entertaining to read. I admit there are times in which I was bored with the plot but the characters left me amused.

  • Helena

It all hurts too much. Don’t make someone burn, and then try to douse the flames with the things you should have done. Those regrets are gasoline not water. I have to make him stop. This is madness.

What I like about Helena is that she stayed honest with herself. She even admitted that at one point she dreamed of having Della’s life. Helena is the most sensible Beige Bitch I have ever met. Because she’s not even a bitch to begin with like what she has branded herself. She truly cares about what others would feel, whether that someone might get hurt over her actions.

Its just, there are some things in our life that we do that make us look like a bad person in front of someone’s eyes no matter how hard we try to prove them that we’re not. We try to make them feel that we truly care about them, not because we wanted to be branded as angelic good, but because we really mean it.

That’s what Helena is like. She loved Della like her own sister despite Della’s irritating self-loathing attitude. And falling in love with Kit wasn’t her plan at all.

Helena has this tendency to withdraw herself and go away as far as possible so that she can’t be the reason of someone’s dilemma.

In the beginning of the book, Helena is someone that doesn’t always go for something. She’s afraid to mess up and venture out in her own wilderness. Like when started taking Art Classes and her boyfriend Neil started to babble “this is not you. You aren’t suppose to do this cuz it’s not like you.” Then she did as he said. She was just afraid to leave her comfort zone because she’s terrified what she might look like with others.

And as we go on with the story, we can see a tremendous growth in her that is brought by the people around her. She has found the perfect words to say. She has found the perfect thing to do. She has found herself and what she should fight for.

Life is but a carousel of four seasons. Unpredictable for the most part. Happy. Unhappy. Content. Searching. Mess up the order, and they still rebound at one point or another. I’ve learned that revolution can be inward or outward. A move across the country to gain perspective. A change of heart and mind to gain sanity. But the point is to revolt when the season changes. If only to quench your thirst, revolt.



  • KIT. 

I don’t like Kit much. He wasn’t a strong character for me and most of the things he did annoy me. Though I was rooting for Helena to get her love, at first, I thought she deserved better than Kit Isley. Someone who would fight for her and someone she shouldn’t have had to force for him to fight for her. ( Let’s say maybe that guy Muslim? But we never get to see more of him. HE WAS SUDDENLY, IN A FLASH, INSTATED IN THE WEIRD SIDE OF FRIEND ZONED )

Kit has proved in the end that he too can fight for Helena. We have all seen that. But I still can’t like him for using Della as a rebound and then duh. Sorry.


But if I were to choose things I like about Kit, that would be the times in which he encouraged Helena to go out and do what she really wanted to do regardless of what people would say. Also I like the fact that even though he loves Helena a lot, after finding out that Della was pregnant, he still took responsibility to it. I guess that’s what true love sometimes means. It’s being brave enough to take responsibility over things even it means you being not together.

“I ignited something in your heart, and then left you to burn on your own. Forgive me, Helena. I wanted to protect you from the world’s cruelty, not become it.”




Della likes to be the apple of the eye of everyone. Though she’s a bit clingy to Helena because Della knows that Helena is the awkward girl and she Della is the pretty one. I admit she was a good best friend to Helena before. She tried to cheer her up when Helena and Neil broke up. But then all true colors come out sometimes and we realized that, just because we know someone doesn’t mean that we really do.

We couldn’t blame Della’s hatred towards Helena because I could see where she’s coming from. Even she’s an attention seeker bitchy type, Kit is her boyfriend to begin with. I feel sorry for her with what happened but it’s because Kit fall out of love with her and it’s something sometimes, happen with some people in a relationship especially if the foundation of that relationship isn’t a strong bond like “friendship.” I feel annoyed with her when her first words for Helena was “you aren’t even as pretty as me”

I was like:


I’m close to being totally sympathetic towards you but you revealed your true color. lol

But I don’t hate Della, I just don’t like her. That night confrontation of Della with Helena really left a pang in my chest. They were best friends. And it was ruined because of a boy. Even Helena did not intended any of Della’s accusations that she came to steal her family, (after Helena spent months taking care of Della and Kit’s daughter Annie while Della was in coma) it appears like that because Della knew that Kit and Helena are in love. I want to hug Helena and pull Della’s hair because she couldn’t see Helena’s true intention of trying to help her even she knows it would make her heart suffer.




“I dress the way I want the world to look. I’m living out my fantasy visually. But I’m not sheltering myself mentally.”

She is my favorite character among them all. She is the representation of someone who has turned her sadness and experiences into an art. She has become wise and healed through time. Let me quote some of the things she told Helena.

“Art is the blood that comes from a wound. You can’t let it scab; let it keep bleeding. Let it bleed until you have enough blood to paint with.”


“Who wants to hide from the truth? Maybe people who have had too much of it. Or people who have had too little. Or people who are too shallow to appreciate its hard edges. #TRUTH


I am not a fan of Helena and Kit as a couple but if there is one lesson I like about Helena’s love for kit, it is that it taught her things. And made her better.

“I’m different, Kit showed me things so I focus on that– the things I’ve learned rather than the things I’m not getting to experience.”

I like that Helena has valued herself more than other people.

“I don’t want to be someone’s ‘girl who got away.’ I want to be someone’s ‘girl who’d I’d never let get away.”


Hands down. Unique writing style that is so captivating and enthralling. But I wish we could see more of Kit so we knew why he did what he did and what he really felt with everything that happened. To Tarryn Fisher


This book is a stand alone New Adult Contemporary Romance told in Helena Conway’s point of view.


My rating:           4 STAR




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